Will An Apology Change Your Forum Behavior?

Writing by Nick Stamoulis Tweet

Lately talk show and news hosts are living la vide loca since the outburst of Serena Williams and the rude conduct of Kanye West. The behavior of these celebrities in public made me think of the rude behavior I’ve seen in forums over the years. But I don’t think I’ve ever seen a forum member apologize quite the way Kanye did.

Nevertheless, it was inspiring. Kanye goofed. He knows it. He apologized – publicly and with a private phone call. Taylor Swift is satisfied. So should we be. Right?

Well, yes. But what about that belligerent guy in the forum last week? He still hasn’t apologized.

To be fair, forum behavior has improved a lot in recent years. In the early days of the Net, flame wars were frequent. And many of them proved to be entertaining. Often, if there were two sides of an argument, they were both wrong. And while behavior has improved, we still run into the occasional jerk or nutjob who wants to pick an argument and run. We could all use a little self examination on that point. So the question is, how do you stop the rude behavior before it begins?

1. First, think before you hit send. Read your posts two or three times before posting them. Make sure you are saying what you want to say.
2. If you disagree with someone in a forum, do so in an agreeable manner. Don’t be an oaf.
3. Get a second opinion on a post before you post it. Ask a friend to look it over and e-mail it to a buddy and request feedback. Always try to give a measured response.
4. Don’t assume the other person was being rude. Sometimes things don’t come out the way we intended. Give the benefit of the doubt unless it was painfully obvious that the other party was intentionally stepping on toes.

Forums don’t have to be places for death matches. Watch your Ps and Qs and keep a level head.