It hit me right there between the eyes. Erectile Dysfunction.
No, I’m not talking about me not being able to perform. I’m talking about spam. You know the ones. The subject line says something like “Pizza for two” and the ad shows a picture of a beautiful woman holding her favorite toy, smiling like the cat who ate the canary. They want me to buy their pills. But I don’t need them.
The next one bopped me on the nose. Another come on. Spam about something I don’t need, asking me to get my tires rotated, or something like that. As if I could do that through e-mail.
Then, I got a busted lip. The guy actually wanted to teach me how to do Internet marketing. I nearly fell off my chair in laughter. There was no opt-out option, no “Unsubscribe me from this list” link, no “No Thanks” button. Heck, it didn’t even come from a real address. In fact, there was no address at all in the “From” box so Outlook wouldn’t let me add it to my Junk Mail list. I thought, “Do you teach about the spam laws in your Internet marketing course?” Guess not.
It’s getting out of hand. All these spam messages. If you took out the petering out ads, porn, online gambling, and come ons from desperate Internet marketing gurus there might not be any spam at all. That’s the sad state of the global Information Superhighway. I thought the SPAM-ACT was supposed to cut down on spam. I think there’s more today than ever. That alone is reason not to do it. Want more? Here’s the list:
- Spam doesn’t produce many orders
- It’s illegal
- It’s annoying
- It doesn’t close sales
- There’s a reason they call it spam
- Spam is ineffective advertising
- Takes too much time to produce the spam material for such a small return
- Spam produces the least amount of traffic and sales of all the Internet marketing tactics
- Did I mention spam is illegal and ineffective?
- I’ll say it again, spam doesn’t work
If you must engage in some form of e-mail marketing, stay away from spam. It’s illegal, annoying, and doesn’t work. Besides, you’ll get a bad reputation and when you do something that does work, people who know about your spam days won’t want to do business with you. How many more reasons do you need?